I'm Alive

It has been a while but I am alive!  Just barely anyway.  Somehow, despite being a closet germaphobe, I managed to catch the Cold from Hell.  It is now 10 days and counting but despite bottles of cough syrup, bags of cough drops, homemade chicken broth-in-a-mug (I find I drink more liquids from a cup rather than from a bowl with the whole spoon-to-mouth action), vaporizers, honey, neosporin, and boxes and boxes of tissue...I am still in the grips of that damn Cold.

I really have to get better soon...like...asap.  Tomorrow, I have the interview of a lifetime and I cannot be a good candidate if I'm coughing up a lung every few minutes.  Lately, I've been running around town running errands and doing things for people--some of it was because of the holidays (I tried my best to contain my germs by covering my nose and mouth with a pashmina) and some of it was due to absolute necessity.

Today, I looked at my closet and discovered that my favorite suit jacket was not dry cleaned after I wore it the last time and my black sheer stockings have a run in them.  Normally, I do not dry clean my blazers after each use but the last time I wore it, a bad comedy-cliche happened to me:

There I was...walking around in my beautifully fitted blazer and slim-fitted black pants, feeling all the world like a rockstar in my black patent stiletto pumps and swishy "professionally" bobbed hair, towards a group of classmates and associates about to get my mingle on...when the giant gorilla of a guy directly in front of me takes an unforeseeable step backwards and smashes right into me, sending my super hot cup of coffee flying backwards into me...drenching my top with scalding, burning, dark liquid.  Eyes bugged in horror while the gorilla ass takes a look and does a true douche-bag smirk and TURNS AWAY.  I would shoot eye daggers at the guy but I am a consumate professional (but in truth, my chest was burning in pain and I quickly walked off to tend to it).

And so there you have it...I could break out my other suits but this is my FAVORITE blazer.  I have had it since 2004 but the classic style and fit is unsurmountable.  I will dab at it today to get rid of the obvious dried coffee marks and do my best to freshen it up because there is no time to take it to the cleaners today.

Right now, I am wearing a neon-yellow oversized fleece to keep warm and between sips of green tea and hot water, I am eating spoonfuls of buckwheat honey to soothe my raw, irritated throat.  Why buckwheat honey? Apparently, it has properties that are great for soothing throats, more so than other honey varieties.  It has all sorts of antioxidants and anti-bacterial and other fancy sounding health benefits so I went to the health food store nearby and found a jar of the thick, dark, raw, crystalized stuff and went to town.

I am so very weak right now (5lbs lost in 10 days) that I had trouble opening it but once I did, the pungent odor of horse emerged.  That's right...the fresh bouquet of equinous expellius wafted up and actually assaulted my deadened taste buds and olfactory organ.  I guess the only time I've ever really smelled buckwheat is on a farm where horses live and um...drop...droppings so I dry-heaved until I could work that thick brown liquid down my throat.  What do you know...I think it works!

So now, whenever I get that horrible spot of dry, itchy throat...you know the one....it's just located in a tiny part of the throat...feels like the size of a pencil-eraser...that itches and makes you couch until your abs ache and your throat light on fire...I lick a spoonful of honey to lubricate the throat and I don't feel so bad anymore.

I think I will not go out today to buy silk stockings...I can buy them tomorrow before my interview and still have plenty of time.  I just don't want to go outdoors today and expose myself to the elements again. I will hunker down, cuddle up, and do my best to go an hour without dripping, couching, sneezing, or blowing my nose.  An hour.  That is all I need to get through the interview.  Please pray for me.